I used to be quite rebellious with confession. Growing up Catholic, I just didn't get it. But in converting to Orthodoxy, I didn't have the same aversion to it. I guess somewhere, somehow along the way, I finally understood that it wasn't the priest that is forgiving me. It is God. And the priest is simply a witness for me.... a human to humble myself before but is really just a witness to the event of the forgiveness of these sins I confess. And, thankfully, a guide. A guide to help me think through what I have done and the way to get myself back onto the right path.
Tonight I wasn't sure I was ready....I still always seem to manage to put it off....a sacrement that really I should participate in more often. Always with my list...so I don't forget anything I feel to be really important to include...nervously go up and kneel down before the cross and whisper my sins to God (and the priest of course, as our witness....)
His words took me off guard today. Wow.....It always amazes me what perspective a priest can put to something. Something I've struggled with all my life and then God gives him the words I need to hear right then at that moment..... opening my eyes, lifting a burden up off of my shoulders.... I feel cleansed.
"Sprinkle me with hyssop, and I will be cleansed; Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow" Psalm 50:9