Answer the Phone, PLEASE

I believe the phone should always be answered.  It's just common courtesy, right? If someone is calling our home, they must need SOMEONE should answer it - it just shouldn't be me.

I DON'T like talking on the phone.  I thought it was just me.... but then my son came along and I realized that he hated talking on the phone possibly more than I did. It was like this PHOBIA with him.  And I thought, 'well, this can't be good' - so we actually instilled it into his 'homeschool objectives' one year that he had to answer the phone 36 times, essentially once per school week.  It was a long year.  He did it.  So I know he has the skills.  He still avoids it like the plague.  I avoid it if at all possible as well.  And you know what?  I found out we're NOT the only ones.

I was reading Facebook or some blogs the other day - sorry, I really don't recall which or what the original article was - but it mentioned INTROVERTS hating the phone.  Whoa?! What?!  It's an introvert thing?   I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!   I stopped in my tracks.  I went to Google.  It turns out there's a LOT of articles and blogs out there that talk about the same thing.  So pardon me, but I'm joining in.... because I'm SURE I'm not the only one out here that didn't know.

I learned a long time ago that I am an introvert and, quite the opposite, my husband is an extrovert.  But I've never delved into that knowledge deeply.  I knew it meant that I prefer quiet and small numbers of people, while he doesn't mind noise and enjoys big parties and social events.  Beyond that, I had no clue.  Until now.  Now I'm intrigued.  Now I want to learn more and perhaps embrace this thing called introversion because it's not really a bad thing-  being surrounded by extroverts most of my life, one would think it was.  It's not.

Extroverts and Introverts just don't really understand where the other is coming from most of the time.  That doesn't mean either of our perspectives is wrong.  That's important to know in relationships, especially marriage by the way!  So I'm doing a bit of research....

The biggest difference between introverts and extroverts is that introverts draw energy from being ALONE!  Social interactions and stimulating environments (lots of people, activity,noise, distractions, etc.) completely drain us.  Extroverts draw their energy through those human interaction and stimulation.

So apparently, when my husband or children wants to go to some activity and my energy is already low and I say, "Oh? Really? You want to go THERE?  Hmmm... mind if I stay home?", I am not being rude or anti-social, I'm recognizing a physical need within myself to stop draining myself and gain some energy.  It's not rude. It's not anti-social. It's not wrong.  It's actually normal and healthy for an introvert to do.

And when it comes to the phone? I do NOT draw energy from speaking on the phone.  It drains me First there's the physical intrusion of this unexpected NOISE when it rings. There's no time to plan what to say to this person that's calling.  Caller ID helps, sure, but - no, not really. I often do not pick up the phone.  It's not that I don't care- I'm just NOT ready.  I'm doing something else.  I'm in my quiet home enjoying the peace or getting things done. Talking on the phone stops me. And trying to focus on the conversation on this inanimate object in my hand with someone I can't even see and might not even know - well, that's just exasperating.  Yeah, I prefer you leave a message, text me or email me.  Really.  I can focus on the response then. 

And wouldn't you know it?  I'm researching this and trying to write this post and I text a cousin of mine - SHE's ALWAYS trying to text and call me. I love her dearly- but I JUST CAN'T talk on the phone that often.  I text her... "Hey, do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?"  And it happens.  UGH. You guessed it.  The phone rings.

Did I answer?

Uh, no.  Does that make me bad? Rude?  Turns out no.  I texted her later and told her what I had been doing.  I'm finally learning I really do need to do these things that give ME energy - time alone, writing, NOT answering calls.... for my own sake.  It makes me a better person, not a rude one.

It seems, according to the Huffington's post article reporting information from, that most introverts do screen their calls - even from their close friends (and in my case, uh, dearly loved cousins).  An introvert physically can't stand talking on the phone because it forces them to lose focus on a current project or thought and place that focus point on something unexpected (hence my 'unlgued' response to my son interrupting my train of thought in the middle of my very introverted activity of writing). The conversation itself will need a huge amount of focus. In addition to this, a phone call typically require 'small talk' -the type of conversation introverts finds stressful. An introvert will, most likely, allow the call to go to the answering machine and return the call (if they do) at a time they are able to prepare for the conversation and have the energy required to do so.

As for making calls?  Uh, NO thank you.  I'll choose texting over the phone.  Or email."Sweetheart?  Can you call and make that appointment for me? Oh, and call and order dinner? Please? Pretty please? Oh, PLEASE have mercy and make the call!"

So this phone thing is an introvert thing WHO KNEW?? I am so relieved it's not just me.

If you are interested in further information, here's a few of my favorite articles I found while reading more about this.

10 Ways Introverts Interact Differently With the World

23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert (I got 22 by the way)

18 People Talk About What It's Like Being an Introvert

**As a side bit of information here - rarely can anyone be considered 100% introvert or 100% extrovert - each person falls somewhere different on the scale.  We all just have more obvious tendencies to be more on one end of the scale than on the other.  So it's possible that some introverts like parties while some extroverts might not. And some extroverts might not like talking on the phone, while some introverts might be sort of okay with it.

Are YOU an introvert?  Do you hate talking on the phone? What have you done to avoid it?





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About orthodoxmom3

I am an Orthodox Christian wife and a mother of three that is loving the life God has given me. I wear many, many hats in this life including Christian, wife, mother, reader, writer, teacher, homeschool advocate, cook and so many more. I love to write about them all! See my About Page for more and be sure to follow An Orthodox Homeschool if you want just the homeschool posts or get ALL the posts on The Many Hats of an Orthodox Mom!

3 thoughts on “Answer the Phone, PLEASE

  1. writersideup

    Actually, Carol, I'm both an introvert and extrovert, so I guess I have that balance. But I still don't enjoy talking on the phone. When it comes to business-type stuff, I have come procrastinate to the umpteenth degree. I also avoid phone calls 'cause, just like social media, they're a time-suck and I always have too much to do. Of course, it would be good if I kept in touch with a lot of people more, but it's impossible. I need to start treating the internet like the phone! lol Actually, that may be how I finally deal with it!!! Thanks, Carol 🙂 You unwittingly may have helped me with this issue! lol

    1. orthodoxmom3

      Well, being as no one is 100% of one or the other, I guess we could all say that. But it is rare to find anyone that's truly right in the middle. I guess it's all about where you get the biggest amount of your energy.
      I hear what you are saying.... I need to keep my smart phone at a distance- not only because of the health reasons due to radiation - but it draws me in, tempting me to check Facebook, stats on the blog, text messaging that can be time consuming if I let it....and many other distractions! I've actually decided to set a time limit and 'schedule' on when to let myself use it....I just need to actually decide what that schedule is!

      1. writersideup

        That's just the thing---where do we draw the line? I haven't been able to make the decisions necessary to try to keep everything in check. I have to cut back on stuff online somehow because if I don't, it builds up too fast when I'm offline. It's taken over in the way I feared. I'll get it to work out somehow! lol It's a common problem for most of us, I think : / And yes, I'd say I'm pretty even as far as the introvert/extrovert thing and am comfortable with either and need both, though prefer the many things I do that involve creativity and learning. That's often times a sole endeavor, though I'm still "social" online in a big way. That's not introversion. It's just a different route than the face-to-face. It was my social interaction that became a time-suck when I used to go to my Barnes cafe to do work. I ended up never getting my work done so now I'm home more, which is a good thing, but the blogs are now having the same effect the cafe did *sigh* There's no winning! lol At least not yet!

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