The Pain Lessens, but it is never gone…

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."
~ Rose Kennedy

I have to agree with Rose on this one.  While I often have referred to forgiveness in my posts with different quotes and my posts on Orthodoxy, I don't think forgiveness necessarily means you lose the scar tissue.  There are pains in life one never forgets.  It sticks with you like a thistle sticks to your socks, like the clutching hold of a drowning man, like a tick embedded in your skin....

You do need to forgive - not necessarily for the sake of the person that has offended you but for your own soul and your ability to live a peaceful life.  That doesn't mean you'll forget the pain or that it won't affect you in any way.  You don't need to have an ongoing relationship with someone who causes you immense pain.  You don't need to submit yourself to more pain and certainly not abuse.  You do need to forgive, pray for them, and let go of the anger that lives down inside erupting into unexpected blows that erupt like Mt. St. Helen's.

And yet even with forgiveness, the pain can still linger....  but I think we can put it to good use.  We must recognize where the pain comes from.  While we work on forgiveness, we must also recognize 'what has this event or circumstance done to us? What has the pain caused?'  A person who is overly sensitive because of traumatic events in childhood can use that sensitivity to be empathetic to others who are sensitive as well or have lived through similar ordeals.

What qualities do YOU have that are a result of past pain? Though that pain may truly never cease to exist, how can YOU use it for good - allowing the pain to subside and be put to good use?

Random Thoughts On A Saturday:

  • We had a wonderful time at the 77th 2014 Novogodny Ball held at the Crown Plaza in New Jersey this past weekend.... here's a video clip from the 2013 Ball that I found on You Tube:
  • Writing is my passion.  So is chocolate...but writing is a bit healthier.
  • While listening to her toddler make rhyming words is incredibly delightful and I can truly find amazement in his ability to do so, the fact that the rhyming words are nonsense words and he does it all day long can drive a mamma wild.  LOL
  • I am grateful to the people that love my family and make our days brighter by the gift of their time to help us.
  • It's important to do things for yourself.  Make yourself a priority.  That doesn't mean to forget the other priorities in your life, but don't forget to include yourself in them.

5 thoughts on “The Pain Lessens, but it is never gone…

  1. stacilys

    Excellent post. I totally agree. So many people think that forgiveness means forgetting what happened. And that is so not the case. Oftentimes there are certain things that happen to us that we will never forget. It's like you said, you don't have to have a relationship with the one that caused you pain. I grew up with an alcoholic father and he was very abusive verbally. I lived in fear of him. I forgave him when I became a Christian and all, but that didn't mean that I was going to have the same relationship with him as Laura did with her dad on "Little House on the Prairie, and it certainly didn't mean that everything was hunky dory after that.

    Thanks for such a great reflection. I have learned from pain. I have grown from pain. I used to be so insecure and legalistic, thanks to the way I saw God in the first few years after my conversion. God showed me one day, in the midst of my pain and anxiety, that I saw him the way I saw my own father. WOW! That was an eye-opener. My dad came to the Lord on his 66th birthday, 14 days before he died. I had the awesome privilege and opportunity to be a part of his conversion. It was on his birthday and he was bed-ridden in a nursing home. I had the opportunity to be alone with him and my youngest brother and we prayed with him. I really believe that day he gave his heart to God. 14 days later he passed away. I felt so sad for him. I told God that I thought it was so sad that he died all alone. And then God whispered in my heart, "But Staci, he wasn't alone. I was with him". Our God is so good.

    Blessings =)

    1. orthodoxmom3

      I've dealt with issues of forgiveness all my life... dealing with anger about things in my past and what it means to forgive. I've realized forgiving doesn't mean saying that what happened was okay or that I should have some kind of wonderful relationship with someone who has hurt me. It just means letting go of the anger and not letting it control the rest of my life... accepting that what a person does to hurt me does not have to define them or me. And yes, pain does influence us - but it CAN be in a positive manner if we make it so.
      I'm glad you were able to forgive your father...and thank you for sharing that personal story - Indeed, Our God is so good! 🙂
      In Christ's Love,

  2. egm081109

    Ah... This was a beautiful post, and so very true. The pain I have is the shame of an early pregnancy, and sometimes forgiving yourself is the hardest thing. There is no one else to blame, no one else to hate or be angry with, and it lingers on and on. But, you're right about the past pain being a tool, rather than just a scar. Yesterday, I signed up to be a peer counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. Our pain is not part of God's plan, but he uses it just the same. Hopefully, my story will help some other girl struggling with the same thoughts and feeling, and maybe she can overcome them just a little easier, knowing she's not alone and that she has every right to forgive herself.

    1. orthodoxmom3

      I am sorry for your pain. No our pain is never part of God's will for us...sometimes we make choices that bring that pain to ourselves...or others inflict it upon us. But what He does do is give us ways to make good out of the bad...always there is a way to do that though sometimes finding that is seemingly impossible. Always he opens doors to help us out of our grief and come closer to Him. I hope you are able to help others. I hope you never have to deal with such pain again. Thank you for sharing. God bless.

      1. egm081109

        Isn't it awesome? It's one of the best things about our God, that he carries us through those hard times and uses them for good. And thankfully, I don't think I will go through such a situation again. God blessed me with a man who took responsibility for our choice and has stuck with me, regardless of my insanity.

Comments are closed.